I have no voice. This is probably just fine, because I found that today, I just don't know what to say. My best friends lost their youngest son. Ezra had been ill... but he died yesterday morning. He would have turned 1 in January. I'm flying to spend a week with them next Monday. I'll just miss the memorial by a couple days. I'm filled with this overwhelming grief. Both for this child I never got a chance to meet, and for his parents who I love so much that my heart breaks every time I think of what this might be doing to them. And yet I put on a happy face when dealing with the cast of the show, and with my co-workers. But I find, its a lot easier to simply not speak. At the company holiday party today, I set-up, kept the buffet filled, and then cleaned up. All silently. People who've never seen me around the theater just assumed I was the caterer and I got a lot of compliments on the food. I tried eating, but it just made me nauseous. I just want to fly to them now. Yet I'm also terrified that I won't know what to say or do when I do get there. Right now, I'm just glad I have no voice.