The week with my friends was the best week ever. No television, just crafts, wandering in the woods, reading and meditating. They're devastated at the loss of their son, of course... but they're also amazingly strong, happy for the son they still have and the time they had with Ezra. Part of me wishes I could have just stayed out there forever, time frozen... dragging deadwood out of the forest and building bonfires every day. BUT instead, I'm back in Princeton. Ready for the second half of my internship.

I think my new years resolutions are going to include something about getting rid of stuff. No more STUFF to pack around. I want to be able to move with minimal effort, yet still have the things I love. Is this possible? I'm not sure. But I'm going to try.

I have no voice. This is probably just fine, because I found that today, I just don't know what to say. My best friends lost their youngest son. Ezra had been ill... but he died yesterday morning. He would have turned 1 in January. I'm flying to spend a week with them next Monday. I'll just miss the memorial by a couple days. I'm filled with this overwhelming grief. Both for this child I never got a chance to meet, and for his parents who I love so much that my heart breaks every time I think of what this might be doing to them. And yet I put on a happy face when dealing with the cast of the show, and with my co-workers. But I find, its a lot easier to simply not speak. At the company holiday party today, I set-up, kept the buffet filled, and then cleaned up. All silently. People who've never seen me around the theater just assumed I was the caterer and I got a lot of compliments on the food. I tried eating, but it just made me nauseous. I just want to fly to them now. Yet I'm also terrified that I won't know what to say or do when I do get there. Right now, I'm just glad I have no voice.

Six degrees of separation is always a game I've loved to play in my head. The thing is, nowadays, I'm finding myself with one or two degrees of separation at the most from some pretty amazing people. Julie Taymore, director of the broadway Lion King, separated from me by one actor in the show I'm working on. Price. He plays Bob Cratchit, and when I saw the Lion King with Mom and Tonya back in October. He was the cover for Scar, Zazu, Ed and Timone. He's in our program. Craziness. Then, my director's wife was the narrator in the Donny Osmond recording of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Well, tech is about to get going and I must head upstairs into the theater.