It's been forever and a day and screw updating for now. I had a crazy meditation this evening.

It started, I was sitting in a ruby red pyramid that was radiating energy into me. Like a sauna, so hot, and wonderful. Uncomfortable at first, but then... I learned to live with the discomford and poof, it was gone. Then I floated up up up up up on a beam of red light. Was caught by what I can only describe as God, and cradled and snuggled while he handed me a sword with a ruby encrusted handle. I cut myself free from money/financial karma not my own. Then, a river of red prosperity flowed down from heaven and I was carried along for the ride.

Sitting in a meadow. A huge silverback gorilla was beckoning to me to come closer. Then he wanted me to follow him through some underbrush and into a cave. The walls of the cave were golden and covered with ruby red jewels and in the middle of the cave was a fire. I was entranced though by the shimmer and sparkle on the walls. The gorilla grabbed my shoulder, spun me to face him and *flash!* his eyes were piercing red, then normal again. He took my hand, gently and pulled it over the fire. I watched my skin burn and then crisp up to the point where the gorilla peeled the blackened skin off my hands, leaving just bright red flesh, pulsing. I placed my other hand in the fire, and repeated the peeling. Now both my hands are a red bloody mess and I turn and begin to paint with them on the wall, my own handprint for one. The gorilla was gone when I turned back around from the wall and I realized right there that I had to come back, and sure enough, the cave vanished, my fingers were whole once more, but tingly.

what the hell could this mean?